On the way to the break room at work, I pass a particular desk.  This desk has a seemingly unending supply of candy on it, visibly placed for any passerby.  Occasionally, (and I am not sure if there is a correlation between work stress and this increased candy appetite) the candy supply dwindles and a note will appear, asking for donations; an arguably fair request.

As far as selection goes, some days there are the usuals – Tootsie Pops, Dum-Dums, Hershey’s Kisses…  Other times, foreign goodies (such as miniature chocolate booze bottles, filled with actual liquor – woohoo!) appear.

Until today, I never dipped into the candy supply.  I couldn’t resist, however when I laid eyes upon the Bounty bar.

Afternoon Snack.

The picture on the candy wrapper was as tropical and suggestive of happiness as the actual name of the candy implied both “plentiful” and “doom.”  Thoughts of Thanksgiving cornucopias and that Blonde Bounty Hunter guy danced in my head as I sheepishly asked the occupant of the desk if I could try one. She complied, but offered up the fact that she’d heard they “weren’t too good.”

My friend Paul looked at me and shrugged, offering to eat half of it.  We thanked her, continued to the break room, got our afternoon tea and proceeded to our desks.

Before I could take a bite of my half, I heard Paul’s voice drift over his cubie wall:

“Hmm – it isn’t bad.”

I tried a bite.  I agreed with him, and noticed that the bottom of the candy bar was embossed with the logo and a small palm tree stamp.

I gave Paul a couple minutes and solicited his feedback.

“I give it a thumbs-up.”

I agree with Paul.  It tasted pretty much like a British Mounds bar, and there haven’t been any negative physical symptoms as a result of eating it.

**Disclaimer: This review was written approximately 5 hours after consumption; still well within all known food poisoning time windows.**


Free Sludge!

My friend at work has been drinking the free coffee since he started.

It doesn’t look good, and he told me that it is horrible, but was quick to point out that the “gourmet” coffee for sale in the cafeteria isn’t very good either.

After a couple months of witnessing this, I decided to throw caution to the wind and give it a try.

Taking his advice, I added powdered creamer and a couple packets of Splenda.

My first sip confirmed Paul’s sentiments exactly. Horrible! It was about five minutes later that I got an inexplicable urge to drink some more.

Imagine, if you can, what sweetened liquid cardboard with a hint of coffee flavor might taste like. It’s the only way I can think of to describe the actual flavor.

Somehow, I think I am a fan.