May 2008

Blood drive
I’m a hero.

On the way to the break room at work, I pass a particular desk.  This desk has a seemingly unending supply of candy on it, visibly placed for any passerby.  Occasionally, (and I am not sure if there is a correlation between work stress and this increased candy appetite) the candy supply dwindles and a note will appear, asking for donations; an arguably fair request.

As far as selection goes, some days there are the usuals – Tootsie Pops, Dum-Dums, Hershey’s Kisses…  Other times, foreign goodies (such as miniature chocolate booze bottles, filled with actual liquor – woohoo!) appear.

Until today, I never dipped into the candy supply.  I couldn’t resist, however when I laid eyes upon the Bounty bar.

Afternoon Snack.

The picture on the candy wrapper was as tropical and suggestive of happiness as the actual name of the candy implied both “plentiful” and “doom.”  Thoughts of Thanksgiving cornucopias and that Blonde Bounty Hunter guy danced in my head as I sheepishly asked the occupant of the desk if I could try one. She complied, but offered up the fact that she’d heard they “weren’t too good.”

My friend Paul looked at me and shrugged, offering to eat half of it.  We thanked her, continued to the break room, got our afternoon tea and proceeded to our desks.

Before I could take a bite of my half, I heard Paul’s voice drift over his cubie wall:

“Hmm – it isn’t bad.”

I tried a bite.  I agreed with him, and noticed that the bottom of the candy bar was embossed with the logo and a small palm tree stamp.

I gave Paul a couple minutes and solicited his feedback.

“I give it a thumbs-up.”

I agree with Paul.  It tasted pretty much like a British Mounds bar, and there haven’t been any negative physical symptoms as a result of eating it.

**Disclaimer: This review was written approximately 5 hours after consumption; still well within all known food poisoning time windows.**

Tonight, my friends and I decided to check out Soho7, an upscale “ultra-lounge” type establishment in the Historic Third Ward of Milwaukee. 

What goes on in there...

We arrived relatively early (about 9:30) and were welcomed by well-dressed, neatly-pressed bouncers. We immediately admired the surroundings as we ordered our drinks. Particularly impressed by a floor-to-ceiling mirror, we debated exactly how large the truck was that delivered it, as well as how in the hell they got it into the place.  Large-scale, substantially framed prints of Audrey Hepburn and circular, gold-cast lighting contribute to the subdued environment.

Immediately, we were impressed by the music – an eclectic blend of “stuff we grew up with,” (okay – that’s late eighties and early nineties) as well as some older-school favorites and more modern hits.

As the night went on, the place filled up rapidly with a very interesting blend of people.  For the most part, the crowd was over thirty.  People were dressed in different attire, but for the most part a bit more dressed up than you’d typically see on Water Street. 

People were, on the whole, generally much more sober than the Water Street demographic as well.  It is true that when I went to the bar and tapped a fellow on the back, asking if I could please “get through to close out my tab,” he thought I called him “an ass.”  I quickly (and loudly and clearly) repeated my earlier statement, and was given a hearty hug.  I never caught his name, but think we are supposed to go on a date next week some time. 

The bartenders were friendly, fast and made every effort to keep things flowing at the bar. 

I give Soho7 bonus points for having an amazing W’s room as well.  Hair products, a long mirror and good lighting made it the perfect place for us ladies to run off and do “whatever it is we do in there.”  With that, I leave you with a little secret. (See photo.)

This is my first review of a local establishment.  I hereby award Soho7 FIVE stars out of five. 


Go ahead… Ask me anything!  Simply leave a reply in the comments area. 

Some things to consider:

  • I embrace creativity
  • I get to decide whether or not to answer your question 

Free Sludge!

My friend at work has been drinking the free coffee since he started.

It doesn’t look good, and he told me that it is horrible, but was quick to point out that the “gourmet” coffee for sale in the cafeteria isn’t very good either.

After a couple months of witnessing this, I decided to throw caution to the wind and give it a try.

Taking his advice, I added powdered creamer and a couple packets of Splenda.

My first sip confirmed Paul’s sentiments exactly. Horrible! It was about five minutes later that I got an inexplicable urge to drink some more.

Imagine, if you can, what sweetened liquid cardboard with a hint of coffee flavor might taste like. It’s the only way I can think of to describe the actual flavor.

Somehow, I think I am a fan.

Eyelashes!!!I purchased Maybelline’s Define-a-Lash and was eager to see results like they promise in their advertising.

Day 1: At first, I thought my eyelashes were being plucked out en masse.  The brush is hard and unbending, apparently molded plastic in comparison to the traditional bristled mascara brush.

Once I realized that tension is everything, I was able to control and suppress the searing pain by reigning in my gusto.

Day 2: It was important I look good today for reasons I’d rather not reveal at this time.  While leery at first, I bucked up and opened the shiny pink tube for another go-around.  Based on my near-plucking on day one, I approached this mascara application with much more caution.

My restraint paid off.  By adding 30 seconds to my morning routine, I added a relatively pain-free, visually pleasing lash experience.  When they say “define a lash,” they really mean it.  The prickly brush definitely applies mascara in a uniform manner to each and every lash it encounters, and the result is just as I’d hoped.

**Note: Eyelash appearance was not enhanced in this photo.  Surrounding fine lines, wrinkles and uneven skin tone may have been embellished.  We want to focus on the lashes here, after all.